As much as I feel like each year has gone lightening fast, friends told me that once they start school it goes even faster. How is that this year seems faster than ever? My what lovely children you are. Your personalities are now that of young men and women versus that of little boys and girls. And sad as I am that you are getting so big so fast, it makes me truly happy to watch you grow up. I love you so much and I'm trying to soak in all these memories as they are fleeting.
Well, its no secret I hate time with a mad passion. Yesterday I blinked and you turned five. Wow - this year has gone faster than most. Maybe because you are actual "people" and my best little buds in the whole wild world. And maybe it's because not much has changed. Gone are the years of "firsts": first steps, first words, first sentences, etc (although we now have teeth! So there's that - whew!)
Now you are just perfect little people that keep growing up before my very eyes. Into just taller, smarter, funnier, prettier perfect people. Always remember how special you both are and how special it it that you are twins. You will have each other for the rest of your lives and always share that unique bond. I am so blessed to call you mine.
My Dearest Jules,
You are my best friend, my mini-me, and the apple of my eye. You are the sweetest soul and the do-gooder, people-pleaser of ourfamily. It was a big decision to separate you in kindergarten this year. Mainly for you. I wanted you to blossom. I wanted you to break from Josh and make your own friends and make your own way. And you have! In your kindergarten class you knew one person going in. And you are friends with everyone. Your teacher said "everyone wants to be paired with Jules". Not a mean bone is in your body. You are friends with the girls and the boys alike. Some of your best friends are boys, just like me. Not because you're "boy crazy" but because all you see is a nice, good people and want to be friends with everyone. But I worry about you, little one. My wish for you is to break free of all intimidations inside you. You are embarassed to sing in front of people. You are so afraid people will make fun of you. You are so hard on yourself if you color outside the lines, and worry if something isn't perfect. At five, you are already worry about what your friends thing of you. Oh, my darling - you are perfect and beautiful and smart. I wish I knew how to fix it, and I'm trying to. But you are a minature me. It's so funny how similar we are even at such a young age. I can't wait to see you grow - just please don't do it as fast as last year.
Love, Mommy
My sweet Joshie,
Overnight you have turned into this little cool dude. You will forever be my sweet guy. You were such an angel baby and angel kid. You were the shy sweet one, while Jules was the dominant personality. You hit kindergarten and turned into Mr. Personality. I couldn't be more proud of all the friends you have made. My wish for you is to remain that sweet little boy that is in there - and not to get persuaded to act/be/dress a certain way because others are doing it. Be the kind boy that invites others to play, even if hes not wanted by others - that's you - that's always been you. God gave you the biggest heart of our family. I hope and pray that you use it the way He wanted you to. And I hope you always have a strong sense of worth in whatever you do, be it with friends, in sports, or in school. You have turned into quite the little man. Gone is my baby boy. It's different than with Jules. She is always be by my side hiding under my skirt. But you are growing up faster, and I hope and pray those hugs, kisses and cuddles never end. And Scarecrow, I'm going to miss you most of all.
Time depresses me. If I think about something too long, it really makes me sad. God gave me two babies that were born on January 8th because immediately after Christmas we are full speed ahead into birthday planning.
So, see? I can't dwell on Christmas being over and another year being over. He knew what He was doing ;)
How are they five - HOW ARE THEY FIVE??? These years are going by at lightning speed and I've been told that once they start school it goes faster. And I seriously can't think about them starting school or I go into a panic.
I'm not sure other parents are like this. Maybe they are. Twins are just different. Once they turn 5 then everyone is 5. Once they start school everyone starts school. Once they graduate, everyone graduates. Can't think about it.
These little nuggets make my world go round. I'm seriously so blessed and just damn lucky. I was supposed to have a spunky little girl and a wild little boy. I was supposed to struggle to have them so I could get two at a time.
Dear Josh and Jules, At this moment you are still four. Tonight as we did last year on the eve of your birthday, we looked at videos of your early childhood. I could barely stand it. You would notice my face and give me hugs. One of the things we joke about all the time is how "I don't want you to grow anymore. I want you to be babies again". And you laugh and say you have to grow up. Tonight when you gave me hugs to cheer me up you told me that you have to turn 5, but you will always be my babies. Yes, you will my angels. Forever and ever. As sad as I am that you're turning 5 tomorrow, I can't be more proud of the little people you've become. Josh, you have a heart of gold. You will able to be the little cuddle baby that will give hugs around the clock. Although the "boy" in you is coming out, and you are growing up and wanting friends, and playing sports, and all that. I know you will always be there with hugs and kisses waiting. Jules, you are just a precious little girl. I don't know what else to say. You are already my best friend at age 4. I love you more that words can say.
Life lately with this guy has been, well.....tough. All of a sudden my sweet little butterball with the biggest heart you can imagine is now ALL.BOY. He is super hyperactive, rough, teasing - just a little shit, pardon my french. He has those sweet moment that comes though now and then, but he's changing, and growing up....and I don't like it one bit.
He is now all obsessed with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. OBSESSED. Gone are Jake and the Pirates. Now we want to "fight bad guys" all the time. Toys are now action figures, and swords, and "nuntchucks". (although Gingy is still #1 thank goodness!)
Oy vey. Hoping it's just a phase, but knowing there's more to come and I better just brace myself. But then there are some moments of quiet, when you can't find Josh and you expect the worst, and he'll just be playing with is toys alone, and it so imaginative. Jules doesn't do this. Josh does, though, and it's the sweetest thing ever, and a quiet moment in the midst of the loud boy chaos that is now my life.
